雅思作文点评论证不够示例凑

雅思作文点评：论证不够示例凑，关于这个问题的答案，你想知道吗？下面中国教育在线小编就来为各位小伙伴解答分享一下，想要了解的话，那就话不多说，赶紧往下看。

还是关于“老一辈的传统观念是否还适用于现在的社会”的雅思写作话题

①However， not all past views are proper. Some of them have limitation themselves initially. Typical example is the traditional view of gender. In the past， women are regarded as a role that can only assist men instead of being independent. This traditional view results to an unequal position between man and women no matter in education or job market. This， actually， hinders the development of our society. The main reason is that it ignores females’ special talent and limits females to contribute to the world. Nowadays， increasing amount of women start to fight with this unfair views and it definitely benefit our world.

②The virtual of trust and credit could be another vivid example to demonstrate the significance of traditional values. In the past， people would make every effort to keep their promises and try to bean honest one. In comparison， people currently become more practical and put less attention on morality. It can be easily heard from the media about the news of cheating and many critics have created a new term of crisis of trust between people. Consequently， there is no doubt to refute these old yet precious ideas.

①当中，共8句话，从第3句话开始，全部是实例。②更夸张，整段都是实例。

有些人写作，举不出例子，有些人写作，能用例子来代替论证，真是有些无奈。这其实也说明了雅思写作的难与模式化。

用实例贯穿整个雅思大作文主体段，从根本原因来说，大约是思辨能力不够，无法对这个话题展开更多的纯粹思辨过程。所以，平时多对雅思写作话题进行正反两方面的思考，同时注意收集素材，十分重要。

有考官曾向人祭出了他的超级雅思写作模板，13句诀。粗看实在让人难以置信，但是，满分作文，就是这么这么写出来的。

他说：It surprises some people when I tell them that they only need to write 13 sentences for writing task 2：

Introduction（开头段）： 2句

First main body paragraph（主体段1）： 5 句

Second main body paragraph（主体段2）： 5 句

Conclusion（结尾）： 1 句

Please note： It is not a ＇rule＇ that you must write 13 sentences. This is just my approach or method.

对于他的主体段的5句，也可以再细分一下：观点句1+支撑句2+例子2

索性贴一篇他的9分雅思作文吧：

People have different views about whether we are more or less dependent on others nowadays. In my view， modern life forces us to be more independent than people were in the past.

There are two main reasons why it could be argued that we are more dependent on each other now. Firstly， life is more complex and difficult， especially because the cost of living has increased so dramatically. For example， young adults tend to rely on their parents for help when buying a house. Property prices are higher than ever， and without help it would be impossible for many people to pay a deposit and a mortgage. Secondly， people seem to be more ambitious nowadays， and they want a better quality of life for their families. This means that both parents usually need to work full-time， and they depend on support from grandparents and babysitters for child care.

However， I would agree with those who believe that people are more independent these days. In most countries， families are becoming smaller and more dispersed， which means that people cannot count on relatives as much as they used to. We also have more freedom to travel and live far away from our home towns. For example， many students choose to study abroad instead of going to their local university， and this experience makes them more independent as they learn to live alone. Another factor in this growing independence is technology， which allows us to work alone and from any part of the world.

In conclusion， while there are some reasons to believe that people now depend on each other more， my own view is that we are more independent than ever.

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