4分雅思作文例子分析

4分雅思作文例子分析，很多同学对于这个问题有疑问和不解，那么下面就跟着中国教育在线的小编详细了解一下吧。

Topic:

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students inevery subject. To what extent do you agree of disagree?

According to universities should accept equal numbers of male and femalestudents in every subject. Therefore, this essay will show some reasons ofargument for and argument against.

Firstly, I will discuss about two reasons of argument for to begin withuniversities should accept equal numbrs of male and female students in everysubject because it will be balance of idea while studying. In general, thereusually are different ideas between man and woman. These lead to new ideas fromdifferent vision will happen. Another reason is it display that have equal ofsociety not eccept in each side. In addition, nowadays, the most societiesbecome to accept ability of both in any way.

Secondly, I will discuss about one reason of arguments against that is somesubjects not suitable for each other. for example, some subjects of sports suchas weight putting. It is not suitable for female because there are different ofbody between male and female.

In conclusion, I agree with universities should accept equal numbers ofmale an female students in every subject. Moreover, it depend on what thesubjects that the students want to study, they can choose by themselves becauseI believe that if the students like to study their subjects, they will do itwell so that I strongly agree with this topic.

老师点评4分的主要失分点：

首先，该同学在语法上的缺陷是致命的，多数句子都不符合英语句子结构的要求，如：These lead to new ideas fromdifferent vision will happen. Lead to已经是谓语动词了，后面再出现willhappen就是错误的，要知道后一个动词需要采取去动词性质处理：This will lead to new ideas from differentperspectives happening 其实这句话也很罗嗦，完全可以改成：This will lead to a wider variety ofideas.

另外一句： Another reason is it display that have equal of society not eccept ineach side. 更是无法理解了， is, display, have 及accept统统是动词形态在句子中出现，但又没有从句将这些动词分开，最终连成功解密过无数学生天书的我也不能理解他究竟想讲什么了。

非常不幸的是在中国庞大的考鸭军团中，有1/2以上的考鸭们写出来的英语句子与这位考生写的同样晦涩难懂。如果你的英语句子也存在这样的基本语法错误的话，我的建议是赶紧花上3-4天的时间解决这个问题，然后再moveon到雅思写作上。

写作建议NO.1：Write in an English way, and make your examiner smile J

按照英文的语法句式写英文句子。

其次，这篇文章的论证逻辑混乱：第二段他想表达的是招同样数量的男女生的好处，第三段要写专业的不同会导致招收同样数量的男女生是不现实的，最后收尾段写道：最终我同意应该招收同样数量的男女生。从上面的两段看下来，最后一段要写的应该是partiallyagree with the topic才对如果专业有较强的性别取向性，那么该topic不成立;如果专业对于两性来说同样的，那么一半对一半的搭配是值得推荐的。

写作建议NO.2: Have your conclusion based on what you have expressed rather thanwhat you have conceived.

你的结论来自你的文章内容，而不是你脑子中凭空构思出的。

4分的雅思写作分数会很大程度上地拖累均分，从以上老师的分析也可以看出，雅思写作很大的丢分点会在语法以及中国式英语上，总之，雅思写作的重点就是要有地道的英语，同时整篇文章的逻辑和主线要清晰。

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